Hi, Fear!
There are many resources out there that touch upon the subject of fear. It is something that consumes you completely if you let it. It can dictate what your next move will be. It can make you think that you are unable or unworthy. Fear is no fun, but despite of its unpleasant emotions, it is part of our lives and can be used in a good way to better ourselves.
I’ve had a lot of fears growing up. Maybe a little more so than others. Fear is supposed to be a natural reaction to dangers and threats, but the fears that I experienced had nothing to do with dangers or threats. My fears involved doing simple everyday tasks, like picking up a ringing phone or even making a call, or ordering something at a restaurant or coffee at a Starbucks. Even going through a drive through will make me sweat and panic. Yikes! Finding the courage to get myself out of the house and into the car to drive somewhere all alone was tough. These are very simple things that people do without having to think twice about. So simple! Yet, here I was, afraid and letting fear control all of the things that I was more than capable of doing, but was letting fear take the wheel.
Some might be scratching their heads right about now or some may completely relate to my fears. Either way, it’s ok. You see, I have this level of fear due to being an introvert, finding myself in so many awkward positions that I’ve learned to be ok with them. On top of that, I also have a very small degree of social anxiety. Being an introvert revolves around where you get your energy from. Introverts get energy from spending time alone doing quiet activities and are generally ok in social gatherings or events, but end up feeling drained of energy from being around too many people interactions. It is very important to know that social anxiety does not equal to introversion, though. The anxiety is what makes my hands get super sweaty and my heart pumping like I’m in some kind of danger. But the better you know yourself, the better you learn to deal with such things.
The best way that I’ve learned to deal with fear is to put yourself right in the middle of it. Yes, don’t run away. Find it, say hello and shake its hand and find out about it. Do the things that scare you and make you uncomfortable. Rosie’s and Lily’s was a big fear to start up. I didn’t know how to run a business. What if no one likes what I do? What if I’m doing it wrong? What if I fail? I acknowledged my fears and did it anyway. What if people do like my work? I would never know if I didn’t try.
I also put myself out there by taking violin lessons and being part of recitals. Yup, me and a bunch of kids. How embarrassing! The thought that I’m usually the only adult up there reciting a song on the violin amongst kids is enough to make me turn around and say, “No, thank you!” I try not to look at it from this angle. Who said this is only for kids? What if I’m doing something that all of the other parents in the audience wish they had the guts to do? What if I am encouraging someone to be brave in doing other things in their lives? How great is that? You know, I get up there, anxiously shaking, yet trying to act normal. I start playing and I can’t stop shaking. My notes sound as if I’m doing vibrato, but I’m not. I play. I play my song and I make the best of it. Then, I’m proud of myself. I overcame the fear of standing in front of a group of parents with their kids watching my every move. The more I meet fear and do things anyway has helped me so much.
I encourage you to do something that scares you. Do it often. Do things because they scare you. Don’t let fear be your driver and don’t have regrets of all the things you could have done. Think outside of the box and do things differently. I’m still afraid of a ringing phone, but I got this!
R&L